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Chapter 21
Arriving back at the RV and with a
shaken confidence, I climbed up the metal folding steps with their high
pitched metallic clanking sound against my feet, pulled the little door
shut behind me with that air tight sound, the latch clicking.
I plopped down on the built in couch.
Margie could see the look on my face, and it was blank.
I had so much running through my head.
Overpowering my thoughts were the barrage of questions and
information that was thrown at me and was rapidly being digested, but with
an element of confusion. My
thinking was not nearly fast enough to make sense of anything yet.
She had the coffee pot on, poured a cup and handed it to me.
I took it and with the look and posture of a numb couch potato she
asked, “What’s wrong Goldie?” As
I pulled my thoughts together I said, “I don’t know Margie, maybe this
is bigger than the both of us.” “What
do you mean Goldie?”
With a slow start in my explanation,
it picked up momentum as I explained what happened at the Senator’s
office starting with the extreme level of excitement that I walked in
with, then the “can you keep this confidential” remarks that
heightened my excitement, followed by the barrage of information about us,
the full background check, and how aggressive and ruthless he was in the
presentation to me as well as drilling me for any dirt that he could not
find. I told her about the
change in our lives that would indeed happen from the exposure to the
public, in effect making us famous of sorts and how permanently life
changing that was, possibly risky and life threatening to our well being.
Finally I told her about the situation the ailing Republican Party
was in, and finally wrapping up with the fact that he indeed wanted me to
be the Presidential Candidate for the Republican Party.
She didn’t say anything, refreshing
her cup of coffee and adding her cream and sugar, the way she liked it.
With a few minutes to absorb what I told her, she sat right next to
me on the little couch, very close. “Let
me ask you something, Goldie. Is
it important enough to you to get your ideas out there and do you think
your ideas will help our country, who in effect has such a great impact on
the rest of world? Is this now
your true purpose in life, or would you be satisfied with going back to a
simple life and watching what you see as a sort of demise; a wrongful
direction of our country that could get out of hand?
Is that the way you see it Golden Simms?
Do you think you can really make a difference?
Can you handle the pressures of opposition that are forceful and
aggressive, mostly insulting? You
have convictions in life. You
have always stood for good. I
trust you Goldie, as much as God himself. Beyond
the normal fears, I know you Goldie. I
know you would be willing to die for this.”
These statements struck me with a profound strength.
Her questions were soaking in too, having that similar feeling when
I was in the room with Senator Noble.
These are not easy questions, not to mention, life changing.
The magnitude of all this was the very pressure I was now feeling.
Her voice was soft though, much more kind then how the Senator
presented his. The questions
were however just as tough so had a similar and heavy impact.
“How do you feel, Marge?”
After a moment of thought she picked up my hands and held them both
in hers, then she spoke. “I
am willing Goldie. I am
willing to follow you to the end of our lives, whatever that entails and
whenever that comes. They came
for you Goldie. I watched it
happen. You didn’t sign up
for this. I think you are a
chosen one for this. I think
it was fate that you are here, and I think you need to decide this
yourself. I have confidence
that you will come up with the right answer.
I love you more than life itself and I always will.
There is something about you Golden Simms that I can’t explain,
but I feel it. I felt it the
first time I saw you. I feel
it when I am with you. I even
feel it when we are apart. If
anyone has an aura, you do. It
reaches beyond your physical being in a powerful way.
You are pure, as pure as anything I have ever seen in my entire
life. You always speak from
the heart. You always have
compassion. I trust you to say
the right things. It is a God
given gift. I don’t think it
is possible to see anything else out of you.
It is just not there. You
told me you have never been in a fight in your life.
I know this to be true from what I know of you.
The only time you are insecure is when you meet aggressiveness,
which seems out of your element, but it always gets turned around.
Funny thing, if we were physically attacked and we were unable to
defend ourselves I would still feel safe.
I know just being with you that I am in good hands, and that I am
safe and all right, in a different way.
It is something I just can’t explain.
You have a presence of, well, God himself.
I think if you do not do this, you will die inside.”
All
this input was wearing me out. My
mind was racing, but suddenly felt like I hadn’t slept in a week.
My thoughts were now skipping in and out of cohesiveness.
The toll this day was taking on me was now overwhelming me.
“I am going to bed and get a little rest Marge.
Is that alright?” Of
course honey. Get some sleep.
You don’t have to decide anything this instant.
It will refresh you, and then you can think.”
With that, I climbed in the bed in the back of the RV.
That good mattress we bought felt good as I stripped off my clothes
and crawled under the covers. It
felt like a mother’s womb at that moment, so soft, fresh, and smelling
so good. The fan motor for the
central air unit was running and making that humming sound I had become
accustomed to with our travels. We
left the fan on nearly all the time for air exchange, even if we didn’t
need the actual temperature changed, but it kept the RV from feeling
stuffy and keeping it smelling fresh. It
was only two thirty in the afternoon and bright outside but it didn’t
make a difference. I must have
been asleep in minutes.
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